Not So Public

October 9, 2013

So I have this issue with people watching me write on my machine.  Right now as I wait for take out there’s a guy watching me put this down.  Here’s my issue: As stuff comes out of my head it looks crazy.  And like most people, I like the world to see me one way.  But when people see my chaotic process it’s different.  It’s embarrassing, really.  I don’t like people looking at me when I think.

Of course the whole thing is compounded by the fact that I use a monstrous font that can be seen from 175 yards.

During medical school I remember a conversation with a teenage girl with anorexia nervosa.  She told me that eating in front of people was like walking around in public naked.  It’s like that for me, only different.

As an advocate for public thinking perhaps it’s hypocritical that there are some things I don’t like people to see.


{ 4 comments }

Ronan kavanagh October 10, 2013 at 10:19 am

I have often wondered what a first draft of yours looks like Bryan. Your finished product is so concisely perfect that it would do me some good to see your first drafts looking just like mine do. Don’t beat yourself up…

DrV October 10, 2013 at 12:36 pm

I’ll send you one sometime….if you dare.

michael negraeff October 10, 2013 at 11:25 am

I like these kinds of posts…. made me laugh (with you) because I’ve both watched and felt watched. So I try to see it from all angles. Curiosity: “that guy looks really intent! I wonder what he’s writing? Must be important, I wish I had something important to write or say. Maybe I’ll start a journal or blog too!” Being vulnerable is something that comes with maturity and it’s something we all grapple with as we become increasingly in the digital world as well. Maybe it makes us feel more exposed in the real world too as we share more in the digital world? Thanks for sharing and being vulnerable.

DrV October 10, 2013 at 12:36 pm

Of course, perhaps I should see it as a type of compliment. It is funny that despite how I like to see myself as transparent, there are parts of me that I like to keep close.

Thanks for your thoughtful comment, Michael.

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